The Legend of the Killer Red Beans

Welcome reader. Are you interested in a tale? A very special tale that involves a lot of booty? As well as its excrement?.......Yes I swear I’m not weird. However, since you did decide to read this I suppose I can let you in on a little tale I came across….

There is a small legend about a very deadly object that when consumed by man can lead to serious....complications. That legend, is the legend of the Killer Red Beans. Almost nobody escapes its wrath unscathed, however it entices many and delivers its subjects a great deal of its treasure almost all at once to which its subjects cannot handle it...however this is the tale of when a couple girls are unaware of the chaos sprung about from the Killer Red Beans!

----

The cafeteria bell finished its last ding. A blond girl with interesting shades ends up in the cafeteria first as she looks for her friend.

"Leslie?" she calls out hoping her friend would respond. No response amongst the soft cacophony of sounds around the cafeteria. "Leeesli- Oof!"

The sudden sound of a thud softly resounded in the cafeteria.

"Hah!" called a voice from above the tackled Angela, "I finally caught you off guard!"
"Should've known it was you Leslie," Angela sighed as she stood up, brushing the dirt off of her clothing. "So are you gonna eat something or not?"

Leslie looked at her with sort of a playful 'Are you serious?' expression.

"Right. So what are you gonna eat?"
"Meh. I'm in the mood for beans today," she said with a smirk.

Leslie then pointed over to the area where the food lay. Angie could have sworn she heard lightning crash outside the cafeteria windows, but that would have been odd because no rain or thunderstorms were forecast for a whole month. But she shrugged it off.

"Whatever Leslie. Get whatever you want. But don't come crying to me when you have a gas attack."
Leslie laughed, "Even if I do, I would just let it loose anyway."

She made her way over to the line with her tray in hand. As she approached the counter where the lunch lady stood behind, her stomach grumbled as a sign that she was super hungry. The lunch lady chuckled and asked her what she would like for lunch.

"The Red beans please," Leslie said, "and LOTS of it!"
The lunch lady, smiled and gave her a whole plate full of the red beans. "Thanks a ton," Leslie thanked the lunch lady before heading back to Angela. However once Leslie turned her head away from the lunch lady she shook her head and sighed. "Good luck little one," she muttered under her breath, "You'll need it."

Leslie arrived back at the table with her food as Angela looked shocked at her friend's plate.

"Really?” Angela sighed, “That much??"
"Oh come," Leslie replied, "I've had loads of beans before."
"But still..you weren't kidding when you said you were hungry..."

Leslie shrugged as she took her spoon- yes spoon- and dunked into the pile of red beans.

"....you know that not how you-"
Leslie looked at her with what expression that many people could probably describe as a 'Don't judge me, I'm trying to enjoy my food' look.
"Fine...go ahead. But again! Don't come crying to me when you get a-"
"Yeah yeah yeah I get it. Just let me eat my food okay?"

After that short while of banter Leslie's utensil finally connects with the red beans and without even giving it a second thought she plops the beans in her mouth.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed.
"What is it Leslie?" Angela asked a bit worried.
"This is so tasty!!" Leslie beamed as she started stuffing her face with the red beans.

Five minutes go by and not only was Leslie's plate of beans licked clean, but as such so that there was literally no particle of food left on it. Angie sighed nodding while Leslie patted her belly, upon which a sharp loud belch rung.

"Ahh..." She sighed of relief, "That hit the spot."
"I swear Leslie," Angie remarked while slightly chuckling, "Sometimes I don't understand you."

Leslie laughed back at her before a loud but deep grumble was heard. Leslie stopped what she was doing and looked at Angie, grinning. They both knew what was coming. What they didn't know was that 'what' may be a bit more than they're used too.

"Hah," she started out, "That was pretty fast." She rubbed her belly a bit to ease the gurgling but it actually intensified, causing Leslie to clutch her stomach.
"Oh god...that's a lot of ga-"

Not even a second passed before one of Leslie's loudest and biggest farts rung throughout the entire cafeteria. The blast exploded from her rump and violently vibrated the chair she was in, and even the building itself a bit. Not mention immediately shrouding the air with her stench cloud. Immediately all heads turned towards the sound with a mix of darted glares, disgusted faces, a few smiles, some confusion, shock, surprise and stunned expressions. Leslie didn't know whether to be embarrassed by that or own that to be hers. She really couldn't think as her stomach hadn't let up. Angie's face was among the extremely shocked. She hasn't heard a fart of that caliber before, let alone from Leslie of all people.

"Ack!..." Leslie grunted, "....there's....more.."
Angie got a bit worried and slowly turned her head to the other cafeteria patrons."I think you guys should take co-"

BLLLLLLPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTAAATTTR!!!
"....*cough* cover."

The sound, comparatively speaking, was weaker than the previous one. However that didn't stop it from rumbling the cafeteria once more. This time though it was deeper and slightly more bubbly than its predecessor. Leslie thought about it for a second.
'I could make like the biggest farts ever,' her thoughts rung, 'They'd be huge! I can't believe this has happened to me!!'
"Ack!" she groaned as she lurched forward from all the gas brewing in her stomach. Although it was an amazing thought to have all this gas and being able to use it however she wanted, it was still churning much more than her own stomach can handle. Leslie doubled over, clutching her belly in hopes that it would go down with a couple of farts. And so she tested her theory.

What followed suit was a series of barrages containing a whole slew of different fart sounds; loud and bubbly, long and airy, short and sharp, and all of them stinking of strong sulphur. The barrages lasted for about 10 minutes straight and the gas still hadn't let up. Everyone had since evacuated the lunchroom, even the workers. Leslie felt so much relief it was almost orgasmic to her, but yet the gas still churned and churned inside her. Angie, nose pinched, stood beside her friend.

"Welp," she started, "At least it wasn't crap in there."

ggrrrOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGLGGLGLGllllll!!!

Leslie's eyes widened and she shot upright.

"....Gotta go!"

She quickly ran out of the cafeteria, holding her butt as she ran right for the restroom crop dusting the whole way there. Angie just slowly shook her head but sighed as she left the cafeteria.
"Hah...I warned her about this. I probably should have told her I know about this from...personal experience." She played with her hair a bit before she finally left.

“Oh crap oh crap oh CRAAAAP!!” Leslie shouted, still crop dusting on her race to the bathroom, “Come on bathroom! I can’t hold back much longer!!”


The silent crop dusting of the hallway behind her became more and more audible by the moment, by having the long, mostly silent stream turn into a moderately light snoring sound; it was very crisp and airy, but held more of a presence. Leslie became more frantic when she heard the noise come from her behind, so she held her butt tighter to seal up the gas leak, causing more buildup in her bowels.

Finally, after a while of running, she finally reached the bathroom and fortunately for her, it was completely vacant.

‘OH THANK GOD!’ she thought to herself as she made no hesitation bursting through the bathroom doors and into the nearest stall she saw. She stripped down her jeans and her panties down to her ankles immediately, proceeding to slam her butt on the porcelain throne that lay. Not even a second in and her butt was ready to unleash havoc.


BBBBBRRRRRAAPPPPPTTTSSSSHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!


The toilet bowl shook from just the sheer force of the first butt blast alone. The eruption lasted a whopping 9 seconds and increasingly got louder over its duration. The fart packed an aroma that was DEFINITELY from the beans she had; sulphuric and rotten.

‘Oh my god,’ Leslie thought to herself, ‘That fart was huge!....and I still have more in me after that??’

As if her body wanted to taunt her more,  it sent another sharp pain into her stomach from the large amounts of gas brewing in there. Round 2 was about to happen.

PPHHRRUUUUMMMP!

PPROOOOOOOOVVVVMMMPTT!

BLAAAAAPPT!

What soon followed was a trio of farts that came out one after the other intervals of a fraction of a second. The first one sounded much like a standard fart, albeit more forceful due to the bean consumption. The second one was no doubt more powerful but also more airy, mostly because Leslie pushed a bit on that one to hopefully get it out faster. But shortly after that, the third one caught her by surprise and sounded a bit bassier and deeper than the previous airy one. All of them smelled much like the first fart but with intensified potency. Leslie clutched her stomach as she still felt more gas in her, and it felt like it was constantly increasing instead of decreasing with each fart. But she paid it no mind and just chalked it up to the food not digesting all the way yet. Rather she was focused on getting it out of her system as fast as she possibly could.

“Oh crap,” she said aloud to nobody in particular, “It couldn’t have been those beans that did all this to me could it? I mean I know beans make you fart but come ON! ...UGH!” Her random monologuing was interrupted once again by her stomach being jabbed at with pain and a new surge of potent gas waiting impatiently to be released. Unfortunately for her, what was about to be released wasn’t going to be another measly old blast.



“Leslie,” Angela called out into the halls on her way to find Leslie, “Where are you dude? Hope you’re not destroying a bathroom right now...” she said that with a hint of sarcasm, especially with what happened before she sprinted off. She continued down the hallway, tracing down Leslie’s dissipating trail of crop dusted gas to hopefully find her.

Meanwhile Leslie was in the middle of a barrage of an extreme and random assortment of sharp, crisp, deep, bubbly, bassy, airy, and pronounced farts; the one thing tying them together was that they were all loud and noxious to anyone that happened to be passing by. Leslie groaned in pain as her body consistently forced these nasty farts out against her will. They kept growing and growing with no signs of slowing. The bathroom she was in became a band rehearsal if all the instruments were tubas. And stunk like a landfill. But amongst all of her butt calls, Leslie was able to hear something else that wasn’t gaseous emissions. One, solitary word that would not only make her feel better but also embarrass her further.

“Leslie?” a voice asked.

Leslie dared not to move. She could swear that voice was familiar, yet didn’t want to falsely mistake her for someone else. In an effort to save face, she tried clenching her cheeks of her gassy wrath.

“Leeeeslieee?” the voice asked again, “I think you’re in here.”

Her heart pounded against her chest and her face flushed red. She wasn’t expecting company as she was trying to empty her stomach. Suddenly she could hear footsteps approaching her particular stall, which happened to be the closest one to the door. Leslie’s nervousness was causing her to sweat, which inevitably didn’t help with her trying to hold back her gas. The girl on the other side shrugged and slammed a fist into the door of the stall.

“EEP!” BBBBBBLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHPPPPPPPPPPRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLBBBBLBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPTPTPTP!!!!

Leslie jumped and, subsequently, her hold on her chamber released and out flew her biggest explosion of a fart thus far. It lasted over half a minute, reeked of sulphur, and morphed from a bubbly ripper into a gust of wind and then into a sharp ripper and then ended in a wet dampening.

“Haha I knew it was you in there Leslie,” the voice spoke again, “I’d know that butt sound and smell of yours anywhere. I followed your crop dusting over there to make sure you’reokay.”

Leslie finally exhaled, realizing it was fruitless for her to keep trying to be silent about it.

“Okay okay okay Angie,” she started off, “Ya got me. *poot* But how are you surviving in this? It’s like *brumpph* really toxic to sit in.”

“I’ll *cough* manage,” Angela nearly sputtered out, “But I came here to ask if you’re feeling any better.”

Leslie actually had to think about her reply a bit. Her stomach had stopped gurgling as loudly and as obnoxiously as it had been and her massive farts have dwindled down to little poots. Leslie took a deep breath, coughed a few times due to the inhalation of her stench, and then exhaled a huge sigh of relief.

“Well I’m feeling better than I was. Damn I don’t know how much I farted out but I feel GOOD! Like oh my god I didn’t know I could MAKE all of those farts.”
“And you didn’t listen to me when I warned you about how many beans you had…” Angela retorted, “You were so loud I could hear you within 2 blocks when you started making a barrage of it.”
“Whatever angie,” Leslie said while taking the toilet paper ot wipe herself, “That felt great to let out, even if it hurt a bit.” She slowly stood up and patted her rump in victory before pulling up her undergarments and leaving the stall to great Angela.

“However what’s more important is that people don’t see us in here while it reeks this badly,” Angela said, “I’m not going to get blamed for this.”

“Ugh. Fiiiiiiiiine Angie,” Leslie groaned, “But man will I have a story to tell people…”

The two of them held their noses as they exited the bathroom and funnelled the fumes out into the hallway, quickly spreading and engulfing the majority of the halls in a low hanging dank fog.

----

“Secretary??!” a loud burly voice screamed. His yell reached to the far end of his office and beyond. Soon a slender, brunette woman with blue eyes and a nice complexion walked into his office.
“Yes sir?” she asked confusedly, “What’s the matter?”
"What is that awful smell?!!"
"Mr Principal," the secretary responded, "There must be another gas leak or something that may require your attention."
The principal sighed, “That’s like the fourth time this WEEK! Surely those janitors are doing their work well right??