Wait we're looking at critiques? Oh okay then. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS THING!!

Vision: when I think of Vision, I think of either the superhero from the Marvel comics and movies or what people were aiming for with their written work, and seeing as this has nothing to do with the former, let's talk about the latter. It's pretty clear that this is a conversation between OCs, as this is a sequel of sorts to Farty Talks, and it's done in the same style as the other one, so I'd say you both were able to execute the "vision" of having another encounter between the two online. This story was also pretty static in terms of what the characters were doing physically - Alleah's taking a dump, and Krystal's chatting with her on the computer - so there's not much to be done around that. I suppose I'd have wanted Krystal to move around a bit more, but maybe that's more of a thought for the next one. Alleah gets a pass this time around if only cause it's difficult to move and poo at the same time. I did initially come in thinking that this was going to be more of a contest of sorts between the two, given the "Battle of Gas and Crap," so while it didn't come out to having that "battle" so much as that "gas and crap," it did turn out nicely anyway, so I'd say this was a worthy success! Nicely done, 4.5/5

Originality: it almost feels like I shouldn't need to go into this that much, but I suppose I have to evaluate this one the idea of its fresh flavors...and I'm not just talking bout da farts <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w…" width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="454" title="Wink/Razz"/> But anywho, this story is, at its core, two friends talking to each other online about gas and such, and while the idea itself isn't anything new, the interaction between the two is delightfully back and forth, and there's never a moment where I think, "Well gee, this seems like it's some kind of pornographic storyline." Which, sure, they masturbate near the end there, but it's not like they're all, "Oh baby, I wanna make you cum so hard" - there's none of that here except in jest towards the idea. So overall, I'd say this was very clearly "fresh" - 5/5

Technique: As with every piece of art and literature, technique is important, and seeing this as a critique, I shouldn't hold back on the technique. There are a few grammatical bits here and there that aren't quite on the beat, but I'm also ignoring those that pop up in the text dialogue between the two, since this is more reminiscent as to how actually texting and IMing goes. The rest of technique comes off as execution, and I think that given the vision of what you were going for that the technique reflects that very accurately. It shows off both sides and takes interludes to express what's going on one side or the other, which is nice cause then it's not strictly within the messaging system talking back and forth about one's gas here and there. We get the benefit of hearing the fart and the dump as it happens rather than reading about how it just happened, which is probably I'd imagine how most of these ought to go between two friends! Another thing of note is the descriptions for the various happenings - using more than just "numbers" to describe stuff. It's something that should be noted to other writers, myself included, that we shouldn't rely solely on numbers to express the size of dumps. If we can be oh so creative with our farts, we can afford to describe our dumps like they were the size of an elephant and as thick as a tree trunk rather than that it weighed 250 lbs. You get what I mean though XP Overall, nicely done! - 4.5/5

Impact: SO NOW THE IMPACT, or the takeaway, the "What do I get out of reading this story?" Well, given the character interaction and the way things progress smoothly and build up into the literal climax of the scene, as well as showing the growing relationship between these ladies, I'd say I'm left with a remarkably impressionable story! These are the kinds of stories I like cause they don't just leave me with wanking material if I want it, but they also show growth and development for the characters involved, and I like that. I'm not gonna say it's completely flawless, but it's certainly not a bad story by any stretch of the imagination. A little polish here and there will make it pretty nice though, and it'll bring a takeaway that sticks with us for more than just our dicks! - 4.5/5

Hope you guys appreciated this critique, and hope you'll continue to write fantastic stories! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="391" title=" (Smile)"/>